I've found it!

Last year I asked an almost impossible identification question about a soft evergreen with a red trunk.  Can't find the thread. But many of you tried to help. Thank you all.

It was cryptomeria japonica. Went to a gc today. There were scores of conifers so I had a feel and there it was.  I recognised it by touch rather than appearance. Other was a dwarf (mushroom)  and  one that wasn't.

Haven't bought one yet as it seems there are a few varieties. Liked the elegans but was a bit worried about height after 20years - but I'll probably be past caring by then!