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fig tree
I have a mature fig tree in our back garden. None of us like figs, the leaves are enormous, it casts loads of shade in the small east facing plot( it's on the west facing wall) and it has no blossom on spring. it does look nice now as it has twisted branches that look nice bare, how much of a nightmare would it be to get rid and replace with an apple tree that I could fan train/espalier? this won't be an immediate job, still got to get rid of rhodo in front 1st, just wondered if you all think I'm mad?
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Please be extremely cautious with regard to the sap from certain types of fig trees.
If it contacts your skin you don’t notice anything immediately. Even after washing your hands nothing is apparent. The next day many people suffer very nasty blisters akin to burns.
Thick gloves, all bare skin covered and it’s also advisable to wear eye protection as the sap can blind.
You don't like figs????????
Send them here .... pleeeeeeeeeeeease 

Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
ah yes another reason I hate it, spend so long chopping leaves off to let in light and often get the horrid sap on me, have to keep children away...sorry Dove, don't hate them but not fussed, also I can only give away so many jars of fig and ginger jam!
We've got a little fig tree - we're growing it so we can have warm figs with honey and yoghurt for breakfast and training it up and over to shade the terrace ... sounds like you and I should swap houses
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
I'll fight you for them, Dove! I beat off a hornet so I could eat a fig at Aberglasney Garden in Carmarthenshire.
The joy of UK figs is that they don't have seeds, just wonderful flesh. Yum.
PS I do think you are mad to get rid of a bearing fig tree.
Dove great idea!! think you may need to prepare to downsize to a tiny garden! I know some people would love one but it seems to give little and take a lot ( of light!)
I have a fig that will very soon need moving to another plot, to make way for my workshop extension. It will need to go in the next few weeks or so. Will it kill the little beast if I move it during this cold weather?
The variety I have no idea, but I am in NL and it has always done well. It is planted in a tight little spot, I am thinking of putting it in a pot in the greenhouse for now. We have had 2 days of minus temps but it is warming up again with possible double figure temps come the weekend. Eventually I want it to go back in the ground, but again restricting the roots.
I inherited mine , it must be hardy, we're oop North, it looks to me like until I started pruning it 2 years ago it hasn't been touched, if it ever was trained it's not now, I guess it's at least 20-25 years old? I would have to get help to remove it properly, though like I say I have a rhodo I want to get rid of first...maybe I could just prune it back really hard to minimise size and spread for yhe time being, it'll be a long term thing... If I learn how to use this smartphone I'll take some pics and post them, maybe if it was espalier or fan trained properly it wouldn't bother me quite so much, though I'd still prefer an apple tree,lovely spring blossom too