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Talkback: New year's resolutions
Gardeners' World Web User
Posts: 17,147
in Talkback
The Death of Briggs and Stratton
It started a year ago last month, the dream of a garden sketched out over lunch,
Patios and arches and ponds stocked with fishes, was top of the page of a long list of wishes
And under a tarpaulin the bright red mower, left in the house by the previous owner
I dusted it down and out in the yard; I filled it with fuel and pulled on the cord
The neighbours will remember for years to come, the day I got my lawn mower to run.
The ground vibrated and the sky darkened over
From the smoke that belched from my red Stratton mower
The flywheel spinned with a terrible shudder as the chickens and dog retreated for cover
The engine propelled with a cough and a fart
And I positioned it where my orchard would start
I mowed up and down and I paced too and fro
Mulching the nettles where new grass would grow
I day dreamed of straight cuts looking so nice
That the gardening experts would call for advice
When all of a sudden with a deafening sound
Pieces of engine fell to the ground
Silencer, exhaust and components of choke
Lay on the grass all twisted and broke
The officers called to propose a solution
For my mower exceeded legal noise pollution
They said “Son lets talk your procedures over,
You really should have an exhaust on your mower”
He made me feel slightly inferior
As he read from a long list of legal criteria
“A mower like this should have a silencer in it
‘Cause without it- it is louder than the current noise limit
And to protect yourself from this spinning steel racket
Some steel toe cap boots and high visibility jacket
And to ensure our statistics don’t climb any higher
We recommend a purchase from a reputable supplier
A hard hat and ear muffs with foam all around
Should protect your hearing and muffle the sound”
I fancied myself as the new Percy Thrower but seriously let down
By my red Stratton mower
The grass don’t take long to grow under your feet
When your mower’s impounded and clamped on the street
Now my Stratton’s redundant amongst the mechanical clutter’
Cause I’ve bought a shiny new petrol bush cutter!
It started a year ago last month, the dream of a garden sketched out over lunch,
Patios and arches and ponds stocked with fishes, was top of the page of a long list of wishes
And under a tarpaulin the bright red mower, left in the house by the previous owner
I dusted it down and out in the yard; I filled it with fuel and pulled on the cord
The neighbours will remember for years to come, the day I got my lawn mower to run.
The ground vibrated and the sky darkened over
From the smoke that belched from my red Stratton mower
The flywheel spinned with a terrible shudder as the chickens and dog retreated for cover
The engine propelled with a cough and a fart
And I positioned it where my orchard would start
I mowed up and down and I paced too and fro
Mulching the nettles where new grass would grow
I day dreamed of straight cuts looking so nice
That the gardening experts would call for advice
When all of a sudden with a deafening sound
Pieces of engine fell to the ground
Silencer, exhaust and components of choke
Lay on the grass all twisted and broke
The officers called to propose a solution
For my mower exceeded legal noise pollution
They said “Son lets talk your procedures over,
You really should have an exhaust on your mower”
He made me feel slightly inferior
As he read from a long list of legal criteria
“A mower like this should have a silencer in it
‘Cause without it- it is louder than the current noise limit
And to protect yourself from this spinning steel racket
Some steel toe cap boots and high visibility jacket
And to ensure our statistics don’t climb any higher
We recommend a purchase from a reputable supplier
A hard hat and ear muffs with foam all around
Should protect your hearing and muffle the sound”
I fancied myself as the new Percy Thrower but seriously let down
By my red Stratton mower
The grass don’t take long to grow under your feet
When your mower’s impounded and clamped on the street
Now my Stratton’s redundant amongst the mechanical clutter’
Cause I’ve bought a shiny new petrol bush cutter!
0
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raised bed.
And a 15x15 potato bed for 1 potato plant
started from a nice 2.75 lbs seed potato I acquired. I hope for harvest 600lbs from this plant.
I started my tomatoes seeds 7 days ago they will be ready to plant out on 15th of febuary.
I plan on growing oca this season
a major problem I have though is my first attempt at growing brassicas over the winter.
Luckily I divided 150 mixed plants with my father in law,and an allotment grower.
Mine were doing superbly,until overnight I lost every plant to God knows what.All that was left was the stalks.
It left a serrated edge on the stalks,almost like a saw blade.
The same thing has now happened with the other two growers plants.
I wonder if you have any clues what may have caused such quick devastation.?
Regards,and good luck for this year.
Spud