Hi, my daughter had ME throughout her teens and twenties, following on from Glandular Fever when she was only 11 years old (think she got it from having her ears pierced - way back then in the1980s, they were not so hot on hygiene). It totally screwed her education up and she ended up with just a few good GCSEs and a few modules of a degree course, before she relapsed and had to leave. It's been so hard for her, a potential high flyer, so bright and bubbly and then crashing as soon as she tried to push herself. However, with the support of a lovely chap who she married earlier this year she started a degree course in her early 30s and graduated this year with a good degree and she really seems to have come through the ME and out the other side, not having had a relapse for 4 or 5 years now - it's going to be hard finding a job in the current work climate, as although she's in her 30s she has an erratic job history due to her poor health - but she has some interviews coming up so crossed fingers would be much appreciated.
Good luck Mummy Muddy Paws
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
The trouble with ME is the type of people who seem to get it are the ones who do push themselves. It's the worst thing that you can do, there is no pushing through ME and coming out the other side! It seems to be a waiting game, and I'm really glad your daughter has come through the other side. I'm sure she'll find something. Has she thought about going into education, as although it's hard work, you do get lots of time to recover - the longest half-term this year is 8 weeks. I'm looking for work in a school office, I used to be a programmer, and worked away from home lots, of course you can't really do that with ME.
If/When your daughter and her chap decide to have kids, tell her to check out the ME/CFS Parents web site, lots of inspiring stories on there of ladies (and a few chaps) that have managed to combine parenthood with ME. Not easy but do-able (and she'll be able to cope with the broken nights better than a lot of other parents as she knows the bone-crushing tiredness you suffer from). I know from experience!
Sorry everyone, we seem to have crashed this thread and turned it into an ME/CFS self-help thread!
Thanks for your encouragement MMP She's actually hoping to get a post as a teaching assistant, to ensure that she really wants to go into teaching before doing the teacher training following her degree.
She has two lovely teenage stepchildren with her hub and has been a big part of their upbringing as they've been together now for 12 years. She's now in her late 30s and they're not sure about starting a family now - her hub has an inheritable condition (Sickle Cell) and their ages also mean there are other considerations as well as her own health. She's decided to try to get established in a career and then decide, but thanks for the info - it may be useful in the future
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
The teaching assistant idea is very good - my husband did the teacher training course (one year), it's VERY intense and hands on, you get chucked in at the deep end very quickly, and there's lots of lesson planning that you have to do now to keep Ofstead happy. At least she's had some experience of being a parent without having to go through the rigours of pregnancy and birth! I think having ME makes you really think about being a parent, you have to really WANT to have kids to risk relapsing, and children are hard work anyway without illness on top of all of that. It's really encouraging that she's now got the degree, and can have some sort of working life. I would recommend that she doesn't go for secondary teaching, they're a lot bigger and stroppier by then, and Andy felt threatened a couple of times (and he's 6'3" and built like a brick outhouse, but a big softie). Getting in a good school helps, there's lots of support in a decent school, she'll very quickly get a feel for how the school works. Andy's brief stint as a secondary teacher has put me off, but he was in a really awful school with no decent mentoring or leadership. He's much happier as an engineering lecturer now, at least if his apprentices muck about, he has the sanction of talking to their employer, but there's still lots of pressure to get students through with good marks. And there's an Ofstead looming!
Good luck to anyone living with ME. Not had personally but do understand about the fatigue situation- just as if the plug pulled out & have to stop asap! Have had serious health problems since '01 so am, reluctantly sometimes I admit, used to it. OH finally understands.
Yes you do go through a grieving process too when your body isnt as it was, but as time passes you do adapt & develope coping mechanisms.
A medic earlier this year suggested that I stopped gardening whilst undergoing chemotherapy. I retorted that I'd end up in the 'funny farm'! Just had to be very hygiene concious as wouldnt be able to 'fight' any infections.
Jo, I agree, sometimes you know there will be a price to pay for doing something, but you want to do it so much, you just think 'Knickers to the consequences!' and do it anyway. I am finding de-weeding the garden very theraputic, don't know how well I will cope with the digging, but time will tell. I would much sooner live with something like ME, a very close friend has had major problems (started with oesophagal cancer and still ongoing now), and she has had several bouts of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, don't think I'd cope very well with the constant sickness & hair loss. I suppose you have to though, as the alternative is just too awful to contemplate.....
@mummy muddy paws.. it is ok.. nephew is a fiat engineer said it is all sat in the cat and the exhaust..as the pistons hadto push it out to get compression. so will burn off as use it.. the engine turns over fine timing was out by one tick and the inlet valves were stuck open.. but will say to him about the oil.. drained most of it out until the level was as it should have been.. it was clean good oil not brown or dirty and it had old fuel in tank ( over 4 months old) anyway so was stale and wouldnt spark the plugs properly.. it is running fine now and just wiating for a new battery then off to MOT. fingers crossed.
jo4eyes you have caused me quite a pickle avantage card and points are things i do not know about . i tried to get the lady wife to read your comments but she is having nothing to do with new fangled computrs. so i will try one of the shops you mentionsed and see if they can help me.but thank you for sharing your advice and it as been interesting readin.
Posts
Hi, my daughter had ME throughout her teens and twenties, following on from Glandular Fever when she was only 11 years old (think she got it from having her ears pierced - way back then in the1980s, they were not so hot on hygiene). It totally screwed her education up and she ended up with just a few good GCSEs and a few modules of a degree course, before she relapsed and had to leave. It's been so hard for her, a potential high flyer, so bright and bubbly and then crashing as soon as she tried to push herself. However, with the support of a lovely chap who she married earlier this year she started a degree course in her early 30s and graduated this year with a good degree and she really seems to have come through the ME and out the other side, not having had a relapse for 4 or 5 years now - it's going to be hard finding a job in the current work climate, as although she's in her 30s she has an erratic job history due to her poor health - but she has some interviews coming up so crossed fingers would be much appreciated.
Good luck Mummy Muddy Paws
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Thank you Christopher - yes, I'm very proud of her
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
The trouble with ME is the type of people who seem to get it are the ones who do push themselves. It's the worst thing that you can do, there is no pushing through ME and coming out the other side! It seems to be a waiting game, and I'm really glad your daughter has come through the other side. I'm sure she'll find something. Has she thought about going into education, as although it's hard work, you do get lots of time to recover - the longest half-term this year is 8 weeks. I'm looking for work in a school office, I used to be a programmer, and worked away from home lots, of course you can't really do that with ME.
If/When your daughter and her chap decide to have kids, tell her to check out the ME/CFS Parents web site, lots of inspiring stories on there of ladies (and a few chaps) that have managed to combine parenthood with ME. Not easy but do-able (and she'll be able to cope with the broken nights better than a lot of other parents as she knows the bone-crushing tiredness you suffer from). I know from experience!
Sorry everyone, we seem to have crashed this thread and turned it into an ME/CFS self-help thread!
Thanks for your encouragement MMP
She's actually hoping to get a post as a teaching assistant, to ensure that she really wants to go into teaching before doing the teacher training following her degree.
She has two lovely teenage stepchildren with her hub and has been a big part of their upbringing as they've been together now for 12 years. She's now in her late 30s and they're not sure about starting a family now - her hub has an inheritable condition (Sickle Cell) and their ages also mean there are other considerations as well as her own health. She's decided to try to get established in a career and then decide, but thanks for the info - it may be useful in the future
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
The teaching assistant idea is very good - my husband did the teacher training course (one year), it's VERY intense and hands on, you get chucked in at the deep end very quickly, and there's lots of lesson planning that you have to do now to keep Ofstead happy. At least she's had some experience of being a parent without having to go through the rigours of pregnancy and birth! I think having ME makes you really think about being a parent, you have to really WANT to have kids to risk relapsing, and children are hard work anyway without illness on top of all of that. It's really encouraging that she's now got the degree, and can have some sort of working life. I would recommend that she doesn't go for secondary teaching, they're a lot bigger and stroppier by then, and Andy felt threatened a couple of times (and he's 6'3" and built like a brick outhouse, but a big softie). Getting in a good school helps, there's lots of support in a decent school, she'll very quickly get a feel for how the school works. Andy's brief stint as a secondary teacher has put me off, but he was in a really awful school with no decent mentoring or leadership. He's much happier as an engineering lecturer now, at least if his apprentices muck about, he has the sanction of talking to their employer, but there's still lots of pressure to get students through with good marks. And there's an Ofstead looming!
Good luck to anyone living with ME. Not had personally but do understand about the fatigue situation- just as if the plug pulled out & have to stop asap! Have had serious health problems since '01 so am, reluctantly sometimes I admit, used to it. OH finally understands.
Yes you do go through a grieving process too when your body isnt as it was, but as time passes you do adapt & develope coping mechanisms.
A medic earlier this year suggested that I stopped gardening whilst undergoing chemotherapy. I retorted that I'd end up in the 'funny farm'! Just had to be very hygiene concious as wouldnt be able to 'fight' any infections.
Now if it would only stop raining....... J.
Jo, I agree, sometimes you know there will be a price to pay for doing something, but you want to do it so much, you just think 'Knickers to the consequences!' and do it anyway. I am finding de-weeding the garden very theraputic, don't know how well I will cope with the digging, but time will tell. I would much sooner live with something like ME, a very close friend has had major problems (started with oesophagal cancer and still ongoing now), and she has had several bouts of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, don't think I'd cope very well with the constant sickness & hair loss. I suppose you have to though, as the alternative is just too awful to contemplate.....
@mummy muddy paws.. it is ok.. nephew is a fiat engineer said it is all sat in the cat and the exhaust..as the pistons hadto push it out to get compression. so will burn off as use it.. the engine turns over fine timing was out by one tick and the inlet valves were stuck open.. but will say to him about the oil.. drained most of it out until the level was as it should have been.. it was clean good oil not brown or dirty and it had old fuel in tank ( over 4 months old) anyway so was stale and wouldnt spark the plugs properly.. it is running fine now and just wiating for a new battery then off to MOT. fingers crossed.
but thank you for your advice..
jo4eyes you have caused me quite a pickle avantage card and points are things i do not know about . i tried to get the lady wife to read your comments but she is having nothing to do with new fangled computrs. so i will try one of the shops you mentionsed and see if they can help me.but thank you for sharing your advice and it as been interesting readin.