We have made the decision to grass over another one of the beds, only thing is it’s full of plants, a lilac tree, a row of hydrangeas, fuchsias and a million weeds, probably be more hard work that cutting the grass.
Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor.
@Emerion I feel exactly the same way about my large garden. I loved it when we moved here, in fact it was a major reason for buying the house. I was never big on veg growing but 3 or 4 years ago I started to get back into veg growing and it was a total disaster. All potatoes were riddled with slug holes and onions hardly increased in size at all. That was the final straw as far as veg was concerned so that area is just sprayed a couple of times a year to control weeds. I then needed hip replacement surgery so the rest of the garden ended up overgrown too. There is no way I can afford to get a gardener in, so the worst borders also now get the weedkiller treatment every few weeks. We don't have any family members who can be conned into getting things back under control either. I really don't see any likelihood of my love of the garden being rekindled.
@Lyn I've thought about grassing over too, but have the same problems as you with large shrubs and a couple of trees in the borders.
Does this ever happen to you? Do you just make yourself get out there
until it goes away? Any advice gratefully received, because I want to
get back to enjoying it.
I get this all the time. I agree that unless it's a joy it can be a chore. Luckily I have a small garden (main growing space 3x7m) that can more or less look after itself for six months of the year. By the time spring comes around I get all excited about bulbs again. I have said before on the threads that unless I was running the gardening groups, and growing with neighbours, I'm not sure I would be growing ornamentals much. I have no lawn. I have been ill, and that doesn't help re the energy.
I suspect that if I were to start this garden all over again it would make it entirely for wildlife and give no toss about things like sawfly, blackspot, mildew etc. It's tricky with all three neighbouring gardens full of bindweed and brambles that would take the whole lot over in a heartbeat.
So much of what we do in our lives is governed by expectations, those of others and ourselves: how we should dress, how we should have our homes, and what our gardens should be like. When we don't meet those expectations, it can lead to frustration, to a sense of failure and to a loss of pleasure. I don't watch telly anyway (we don't actually have a TV), but if I did it would not be any how to programmes as I find they put pressure on you to have things a certain way, to set you up to fall short.
It doesn't matter if you are not watching programmes, weeding like mad or whatever you used to do. Feeling guilty about not doing what you used to is not going to help. Instead, have you tried sitting outside and just enjoying what is there, even if it's not tidy, without the need to do anything. Ok, not necessarily to weather to sit out for ages, but even from a window looking to find things you like that need no action on your part, just admiring them for the sake of.
Another thing, do you have memories associated with your garden - children playing, parties, things like that? They could help you fall back in love with it.
But above all, I would say don't pressure yourself to conform to your or others' expectations of what it means to be a gardener, just do what you enjoy.
Just to chip in with one idea .... would you consider "sharing" your veg/fruit area with a newbie gardener? With the long waiting list for allotments, there might be someone willing to take it on. If you could agree that they would do the gardening in that area for a year in return for splitting the produce with you. You might find that helping a newbie with advice could help you get your mojo back.
Good luck, Bee x
Gardener and beekeeper in beautiful Scottish Borders
A single bee creates just one twelfth of a teaspoon of honey in her lifetime
I go off gardening when it starts to feel like a chore (read housework/maintenance/DIY). Should I ever start a new garden, I am going to do my best to go for something wild that can be left to its own devices. I too, derive most pleasure from just 'being' amongst the plants, wildlife & elements.
I think it depends how you define 'gardening' : - I would soon find weeding, pruning, clearing etc very boring and would go off those sorts of tasks. I only have so much energy and need to use it wisely. I think I find designing and planning things for my garden more interesting and when I reach dead ends with no solutions, I can become a bit dejected.
Another strange thing is that the 'gardeners' calendar' can be both comforting and oppressive to me. Sometimes there are too many 'shoulds' involved in gardening.
I agree about effectively zoning areas of the garden and if necessary leaving certain areas to their own devices.
The other thing that I find depressing is the erratic weather and changing climate, which makes gardening much more unpredictable (in terms of what will thrive and grow well) than usual. Sometimes so much effort, time and money for precisely nought!
Sorry to witness the demise of the forum. 😥😥😥😡😡😡I am Spartacus
I haven't watched GW since the lovely Nigel popped his paws. He was my favourite "presenter". ❤️
I love gardening, but I accept my limitations (bad back, and other slow-downs) and really keep it manageable by adjusting my expectations. The grass looks pretty terrible, but there we are. I don't fret.
I get a huge amount of pleasure growing a few cuttings and keeping borderline hardy things through the winter. I use plastic containers, not because I prefer these to stone or whatever, but because I can manage them. I keep my container plants quite small, but they seem OK with that. I like small plants best ... which luckily suits my situation.
The brain is not good at holding onto the memory of a vivid experience of "joy". You have to remind it by doing the activity ... and then it plugs into its "Oh yes, I'd forgotten I love this" circuit and the neurons start firing like 5th Nov.
I’m in the same place. My woodland and 3 years of planting work was destroyed a few months ago. I can’t tell you what a shock it was. I haven’t watched a gardening programme since, and I’m finding it difficult to start again.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I’m going to mull over it, and maybe take up the sitting out there and looking at things approach, combined with doing the odd bit that I enjoy. You have all reminded me that my parent’s garden turned into a wild space, with just the lawn mowed in the middle. I loved it, and so did lots of the people that saw it. The greens were incredible in the summer.
I’m really sorry to hear that @a1154. Maybe we could both turn our backs on it all for the winter, and see what we feel like doing next spring? Best wishes.
Carmarthenshire (mild, wet, windy). Loam over shale, very slightly sloping, so free draining. Mildly acidic or neutral.
Posts
It doesn't matter if you are not watching programmes, weeding like mad or whatever you used to do. Feeling guilty about not doing what you used to is not going to help. Instead, have you tried sitting outside and just enjoying what is there, even if it's not tidy, without the need to do anything. Ok, not necessarily to weather to sit out for ages, but even from a window looking to find things you like that need no action on your part, just admiring them for the sake of.
Another thing, do you have memories associated with your garden - children playing, parties, things like that? They could help you fall back in love with it.
But above all, I would say don't pressure yourself to conform to your or others' expectations of what it means to be a gardener, just do what you enjoy.
Lots of good advice here.
Just to chip in with one idea .... would you consider "sharing" your veg/fruit area with a newbie gardener? With the long waiting list for allotments, there might be someone willing to take it on. If you could agree that they would do the gardening in that area for a year in return for splitting the produce with you.
You might find that helping a newbie with advice could help you get your mojo back.
Good luck,
Bee x
A single bee creates just one twelfth of a teaspoon of honey in her lifetime
I think it depends how you define 'gardening' : - I would soon find weeding, pruning, clearing etc very boring and would go off those sorts of tasks. I only have so much energy and need to use it wisely. I think I find designing and planning things for my garden more interesting and when I reach dead ends with no solutions, I can become a bit dejected.
Another strange thing is that the 'gardeners' calendar' can be both comforting and oppressive to me. Sometimes there are too many 'shoulds' involved in gardening.
I agree about effectively zoning areas of the garden and if necessary leaving certain areas to their own devices.
The other thing that I find depressing is the erratic weather and changing climate, which makes gardening much more unpredictable (in terms of what will thrive and grow well) than usual. Sometimes so much effort, time and money for precisely nought!
I love gardening, but I accept my limitations (bad back, and other slow-downs) and really keep it manageable by adjusting my expectations. The grass looks pretty terrible, but there we are. I don't fret.
I get a huge amount of pleasure growing a few cuttings and keeping borderline hardy things through the winter. I use plastic containers, not because I prefer these to stone or whatever, but because I can manage them. I keep my container plants quite small, but they seem OK with that. I like small plants best ... which luckily suits my situation.
The brain is not good at holding onto the memory of a vivid experience of "joy". You have to remind it by doing the activity ... and then it plugs into its "Oh yes, I'd forgotten I love this" circuit and the neurons start firing like 5th Nov.