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There's this garden up the road...

plant pauperplant pauper Posts: 6,904
in The potting shed
...where the lady of the house planted the garden up beautifully. It's a newish build for their retirement with a large lawn at the front and a sizeable herbaceous border along one side.
She died last year!
Her garden is now in the incapable hands of her farmer son in his fifties and her very elderly widower neither of whom seem to have the time or inclination to look after her lovely plantings.
Where is the line drawn between offering help and butting in? Either way I'd be telling them they're not coping. My social skills are weak in this department. Should I offer or not? It's getting to the 'needs sorted' stage and it would be a shame if it got completely overgrown.

Posts

  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Posts: 88,147
    edited August 2023
    Farmers are notorious for a lack of gardening skills … if it’s not several acres and needing large machinery they just don’t notice it. They’ll ‘get someone in’ eventually … but not you … don’t you dare volunteer!  You have enough on your plate @plant pauper ! 🤗 

    Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.





  • thevictorianthevictorian Posts: 1,279
    It's always hard volunteering for someone else because you either get the awkward bit where they offer you money you don't want or it turns out to be a massive chore. I did the same for a family friend last year and the expectations just grew and grew until I had to stop (luckily a local paid gardener started doing it again for them) and then you are back at square one.
  • plant pauperplant pauper Posts: 6,904
    You're right. You're all right but it was so lovely and now it looks a bit like a thicket. They're keeping the grass nice (boys toys) but the border... 🙁
    I only know them @pansyface inasmuch as I met them when one of their giant bales rolled down the hill, across the road and into the sheugh at the end of my garden taking my fence with it of course. They're very civil and it's a very close community so everybody 'knows' everybody. I'll speak to neighbour lady  o:)  and see what she says though I think she'll say the same. She would be my No.1 other 'volunteer' but her plate is also full.
    Thank you for helping me see sense. 
    I'm hard!
    I can do this.
  • LynLyn Posts: 23,190
    Dovefromabove said:
    Farmers are notorious for a lack of gardening skills … if it’s not several acres and needing large machinery they just don’t notice it. They’ll ‘get someone in’ eventually … but not you … don’t you dare volunteer!  You have enough on your plate @plant pauper ! 🤗 
    Know what you mean there,  Roland just cannot see any point in flower gardening, waste of time and space.  He does help but I have to say specifically what I want,  then he can’t see the point.
    He says if I wasn’t here he’d let the lawn go to ‘wild flowers’. That takes more effort than mowing.  All we grow here is hogweed, and brambles. 
    Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor. 

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