Starting with the patio will give you a place to sit out. I would deal with the vines etc next - best to get rid of anything that might be doing damage, especially to neighbours. For climbers, usually best to cut through the main stems at the base and let them die - easier to get them off the wall - but experts on here will have more specific advice if you can show what the plants are.
Thank you for this advice - I will see if I can give them a chop tomorrow, actually, since I have a pair of shears!
The recruitment of friends, family and neighbours could well help. Also borrowing any tools you can for a few weeks. Where abouts are you? A team of about four neighbours managed to lop down a similar-ish space in a weekend, but we knew what was there and though overgrown, there was nothing too noxious, only brambles.
It would probably really help to find out what you have going on, which plants are which, so you know how to deal with them. Maybe block out the next few months to do some serious work on it. The advice is often given to work on the area closest to the house first. How is the boundary? Are there fences in bad shape?
Don't panic.
Unfortunately all of my family and friends live in flats and the like, so unfortunately there is a severe shortage of tools! I am located in Bedfordshire.
Is there a good way to figure out which plants these are, perhaps some kind of illustrated guide?
The boundary is fairly healthy, there is a new fence at the end that the neighbours have installed and the ones on either side are okay, just overgrown.
Another vote for doing it in stages. If you don't have funds to plant it all up or lay lawn then it won't look great even if it is all cleared, and will soon be full of weeds again. Clear the patio area and dig out a small flower bed nearby, preferably in the sun. Then you will be able to sow a few cheap annual seeds to enjoy while you work out what to do with the rest.
When you say 'plant it all up', do you mean chopping it all back and then planting new grass and such?
If you neighbours are friendly and have well-maintained gardens why not talk to them? They may see giving you a bit of hand with the garden an opportunity to get it under control and enhance their own property. For example, the huge laurel may be robbing someone of light in their garden.
It's amazing what someone coming in with a few key tools and a lawnmower could achieve. If the grass was cut back in stages over several weeks in spring you might find is usable. Just tackling that would make you feel the space had been open
If the vines need attention sooner rather than later you could cut all vertical growth at 1-3 ft from the ground where it grows. The severed part above will then die and it can be pulled off the walls over weeks or months. It will probably be hard going if it's established so best to tackle in stages.
The neighbours have well maintained gardens but I speak to them very rarely, perhaps I should go and knock at some point!
I will try and tackle the big vine at some point because it's actually blocking my window - tomorrow when it gets light I will post a photo on here so you can all see the extent of it - it's quite worrying!
I agree, don't clear down to bare soil any more area than you can plant up and keep up with the weeding. Otherwise it'll soon be full of weeds again. For the old lawn, if you can get hold of a strimmer, you could strim it down. It'll still be weedy but if you can keep it
cut, the grass might stand a chance of competing and you'll reduce the
amount of flowers (and hence seeds) that the weeds produce if left
alone. Borrow or freecycle, or if you can spare some cash, keep your eye on Aldi/Lidl specials, they sometimes have power tools at remarkably good prices, although I can't comment on the quality.
For the vines etc on the house, what @Pianoplayer said - try to find the main stems and cut/saw through those, then wait until they die off before you try to pull them off the walls - if they're self-clinging they're probably ivy or something like virginia creeper and they'll loosen their grip a bit once they're dead. If they regrow from the stumps, you can tackle that later. Depending where the roots are, it's a case of dig them out (and a collapsable spade might not be up to the job) or use your roundup carefully on the regrowth when it's growing strongly. It's too cold right now so it would be wasted - plants need to be actively growing. I'm assuming it's a systemic weedkiller like glyphosate that will kill the roots, but if in doubt you can post a pic of the label.
The large shrubs might not look so bad if the ground level/lawn is cut back, and if you want to renovate them rather than removing or hacking back willy-nilly (which in my view usually looks worse than the natural growth), post some close-up pics and people will be able to help you ID them and work out the best approach.
Doncaster, South Yorkshire. Soil type: sandy, well-drained
Is there a local Gardening Club? There may be people there who would help with the loan of a few tools, some muscle power and more important, expertise. Local gardeners will also know what grows well locally and how to get rid of the worst offenders.
You might be surprised at how good it will look after it recovers from some trimming and a couple of weekly mows. I'd be wary of cutting too much off anything or mowing too short or splashing chemicals around. ... and yes - do it in stages, wear blinkers, focus on the bits that you make accessible, not on the bits you'll get to later...
We had a very overgrown garden when we moved into our home. Not to the extent of yours though.
Tools. Have a look on freecycle, marketplace on Facebook, if you have a Wilko near you, check out their gardening range as they are very reasonably priced.
Do a list of what needs doing, then prioritise the jobs. If you do it in sections and focus on that section until it is completed before moving on to the next job. You will then see the progress you have made but also get satisfaction ticking the completed jobs.
There will be lots of bood sweat and tears throughout. At times you will see lots of progress, at times it will slow down but dont give up. You will get there.
I would be wary of trying to take stuff out willy nilly before you know what it is. You might remove some lovely stuff and have noxious stuff spring back in no time. Don't be tempted to rotivate if it comes up as an option. See what kind of team you can put together. Friendly neighbours will be a godsend.
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Is there a good way to figure out which plants these are, perhaps some kind of illustrated guide?
The boundary is fairly healthy, there is a new fence at the end that the neighbours have installed and the ones on either side are okay, just overgrown.
I will try and tackle the big vine at some point because it's actually blocking my window - tomorrow when it gets light I will post a photo on here so you can all see the extent of it - it's quite worrying!
We had a very overgrown garden when we moved into our home. Not to the extent of yours though.
Tools. Have a look on freecycle, marketplace on Facebook, if you have a Wilko near you, check out their gardening range as they are very reasonably priced.
Do a list of what needs doing, then prioritise the jobs. If you do it in sections and focus on that section until it is completed before moving on to the next job. You will then see the progress you have made but also get satisfaction ticking the completed jobs.
There will be lots of bood sweat and tears throughout. At times you will see lots of progress, at times it will slow down but dont give up. You will get there.