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Pruning treeish things

Any pointers for pruning larger sized shrubs/trees? I've a buddleia tree I hacked it back previously to about head height, and it did quite well. Another I took to the ground, and I haven't been that impressed with the shape of regrowth. Starts off good and tight, then falls over and gets in the way. Not quite sure what shape I should be going for.
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I'm looking at my 'getting out of hand again' philadelphus and wondering....🤨
I think my main quandary comes with large buddleia specimens and with pruning in general as to how to hide big cuts.
Our tree sized one with three main branches that then forked, I took down to the first forking, and that was satisfactory, but I wanted to make the shape more compact. So then tried to go as low as possible. And it still doesn't feel quite right. I think what I should be aiming for is some good solid inch sized stems at the base to use as a scaffolding for the future. But that's just a hunch.
I do very much like them as trees. But space is a consideration. And when they are tight shrubs they are quite charming too. I'm just not sure if there is much in the way of middle ground. It's trying to avoid them flopping down into paths and in your face. (Our garden is quite narrow, about 14ft.)
As for buddliea ... I cut mine back by half in November to help prevent root damage from windrock ... and then when the buds begin to break in the spring I cut every stem/branch/cane down hard to no more than my knee height, often lower ... that results in a beautiful 'fountain' shape that looks wonderful when in full bloom.
Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.
Buddlia gets sawn back as far as I can get it.
'You must have some bread with it me duck!'