Haribo Magic Mix featuring flying bear on broomstick carrying magic wand, plus bubble blowing thing, and balloon.
Doctors' surgeries around here are very officious about making appointments, and won't see anything that has not been prearranged and booked (unless really desperate). People can't get two things seen to at the same appointment.
Afternoon Forkers. Great news about Inka's friend - bet she doesn't realise that there are so many people here who don't know her who are wishing her well.
Becks & Jess - I think there must be some course all doctors' receptionists are sent on to turn them into dragons before they can deal with any patients - ours are just as bad. Hope you & Jess can get some good medication to sort you out before her birthday and Christmas. My guess for today is a necklace and some choccy coins.
Gary - if you kept chickens I wouldn't eat their eggs .
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage."
"Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."
Posts
My guess for today's Advent pressie -
Haribo Magic Mix featuring flying bear on broomstick carrying magic wand,
plus bubble blowing thing, and balloon.
Doctors' surgeries around here are very officious about making appointments, and won't see anything that has not been prearranged and booked (unless really desperate). People can't get two things seen to at the same appointment.
Afternoon Forkers. Great news about Inka's friend
- bet she doesn't realise that there are so many people here who don't know her who are wishing her well.
Becks & Jess - I think there must be some course all doctors' receptionists are sent on to turn them into dragons before they can deal with any patients - ours are just as bad. Hope you & Jess can get some good medication to sort you out before her birthday and Christmas. My guess for today is a necklace and some choccy coins.
Gary - if you kept chickens I wouldn't eat their eggs
.
What is a female elf called?
A shelf
Entry noted Gary.
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg!
Oops - forgot to say Rudolph for Geoff's advent calendar.
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of
the cage."
"Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll
Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
A. ME!!!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.
Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A. At the BP station!
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A. Odor in the court.
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!
Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A. They don't have the guts.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why does Santa Claus like to go down the chimney?
A: Because it soots him!
Q: What do Santa's elves do after school?
A: Their gnomework!
Q: What do snowmen like to eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes!
Q: What is a parent's favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent Night.
Q: What is the fear of Santa Claus called?
A: Claustrophobia
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish!
Q: What does Tarzan sing and Christmas?
A: Jungle Bells!
Q: Why does Santa have a garden?
A: So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
Q: Why did the dog hand up his stocking at Christmas?
A: He was waiting for Santa Paws.
Q: Why is it cold on Christmas?
A: Because it's in Decembrrrrrrrrr!
Another business opportunity missed
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/The-Dandy-Last-Ever-Issue-3610-/281034413506?pt=UK_Books_comics_Magazines_UK_Comics_ET&hash=item416ef4d5c2
Answers so far today on the advent choccy are~~~~~~~~~~~
TCB-snowflake
Lottie-santa
Georg-snowman
The Ice Queen-reindeer
Flo-umbrella.ella ,ella
Holly Berry -snowman
Nad-Rudolph
About an hour or so left
Talking to meself 'ere
B****r I was going to say snowman as well, sooooo Sledge!
Becks- another bubble set & a choc.
Back to being Mrs Mop! J.