I didnt know that not all new cars these days actually had spare tyres in the boot. I know some only have the space-saving type to get you a short distance, but some dont actually even have that! They have a repair kit of sorts!
I asked daughter if her car does have a spare- she's no idea! Still it passed it's first MOT ok, but I suggested she actually check. She says she wouldnt know how to/or be able to change a tyre. I know how to, just not strong enough to do it- but it could help if she had a puncture & was able to say if she did have a spare or not. Pleased to say that my cars' manufacturer always supplies a spare.
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and devotion,
Agnes -----------------
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes -----------------
Dearest John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.
Love, Agnes -----------------
Dear John,
Today the postman delivered 4 calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful but don't you think enough is enough. You're being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes -----------------
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered 5 golden rings; one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love,
Anges -----------------
Dear John:
When I opened the door there were actually 6 geese a-laying on my front steps. So, you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbours are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes -----------------
John:
What's with you and those flaming birds? 7 swans a-swimming. What kind of God damned joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house, and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop with those flaming birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes -----------------
O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a-milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a-milking, but they had to bring their God damned cows. There is shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
Just lay off me, smart ass.
Agnes -----------------
Hey! Shithead,
What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's 9 pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. They cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbours have started a petition to evict me.
You'll get yours,
Agnes -----------------
You Rotten Git
Now there's 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been with those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got the diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why this building shouldn't be condemned. I'm getting the police on you.
One who means it. -----------------
Listen! Dickhead,
What's with the 11 lords a-leaping on those maids and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing all sorts of things with the cows. All 23 of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten, vicious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes -----------------
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12 fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached warrant for you arrest.
Posts
Glad all sorted Dean.
I didnt know that not all new cars these days actually had spare tyres in the boot. I know some only have the space-saving type to get you a short distance, but some dont actually even have that! They have a repair kit of sorts!
I asked daughter if her car does have a spare- she's no idea! Still it passed it's first MOT ok, but I suggested she actually check. She says she wouldnt know how to/or be able to change a tyre. I know how to, just not strong enough to do it- but it could help if she had a puncture & was able to say if she did have a spare or not.
Pleased to say that my cars' manufacturer always supplies a spare.
Right off to turn on the Remoska, yet again! J.
The Real 12 Days of Christmas
Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and devotion,
Agnes
-----------------
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
-----------------
Dearest John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.
Love, Agnes
-----------------
Dear John,
Today the postman delivered 4 calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful but don't you think enough is enough. You're being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
-----------------
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered 5 golden rings; one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love,
Anges
-----------------
Dear John:
When I opened the door there were actually 6 geese a-laying on my front steps. So, you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbours are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
-----------------
John:
What's with you and those flaming birds? 7 swans a-swimming. What kind of God damned joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house, and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop with those flaming birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
-----------------
O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a-milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a-milking, but they had to bring their God damned cows. There is shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
Just lay off me, smart ass.
Agnes
-----------------
Hey! Shithead,
What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's 9 pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. They cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbours have started a petition to evict me.
You'll get yours,
Agnes
-----------------
You Rotten Git
Now there's 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been with those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got the diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why this building shouldn't be condemned. I'm getting the police on you.
One who means it.
-----------------
Listen! Dickhead,
What's with the 11 lords a-leaping on those maids and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing all sorts of things with the cows. All 23 of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten, vicious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
-----------------
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12 fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached warrant for you arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Bender and Cahole
Geoff
Reading through posts can tell weather not fit to garden. What a load of bored Forkers we are.
Not bored -quite happy most of the time -occasionally get fed-up but who doesn't?
There is not much gardening to be done-well nothing that won't wait anyway-this thread is my therapy in the meantime
Dean-how long did you have to wait?
Jo -your daughter should know-what would she do if she had a puncture?
Not long fellow Forkers!
Trying to be upcast n upbeat!! last years early sowings!
Don't ya just love spring!
Bring next season on!
About two hours Geoff! So not that bad!
Ha ha ha Dean. I can see your fingers itching to get started. Mine are too.
Now full up from dinner. Was a bit of a mix and match from the freezer until Asda come in the morning.
I need entertaining until 9pm- can that be arranged?
Well Jess has got her sleepy head on, and keeps asking for cuddles, so you can't rely on me I'm afraid.
Beck's!.... Drives me mad when not allowed to play!
Geoff!..... your on your ownBeck's! Drives me mad when ! Can't garden!
Geofff! Your on ya tod if nobody is willing!
My bed is screaming!